It's Always Personal
There is the belief held by some that business is just business. Nothing personal in the decisions made and the actions taken. Do the analysis. Run the spreadsheets. Calculate the ROI. Build the business case, and make the decision.
It would be so simple if this were the case. The reality is that there’s a lot more to decisions than just math and analysis. Decisions are greatly influenced by emotions.
An example of the role emotions play in decision-making is the work done by Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio. He treated a patient named Elliot, who had a brain tumor removed. Thereafter Elliot seemed not to feel emotions. Without emotion, Elliot could not make the simplest choices, such as which color socks to wear.
Emotions are a necessary element when making decisions. Even when the math and the ROI calculation seem to lead to rational decisions, in reality the decision is impossible without emotion.
The role of emotions in decision-making is why developing business relationships is so critically important. Strong relationships are built on trust. Trust enables someone to be open; to share their personal side, their emotions.
When you talk with a prospective client, an employee, a supplier, tune into the person. Consider where they are coming from. Or in a meeting, read the room. Sense the mood. A successful outcome depends on the ability to connect.
Dr. Travis Bradberry cites the importance of curiosity about other people. As he stated in a recent post:
Emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.
Empathy, by definition, is the ability to identify with or understand another's situation or feelings. When you are meeting someone, be curious. Ask questions that go beyond just factual inquiries.
While asking about, for example, production delays and how they impact the business, note if the other person is frustrated, angry, bewildered? The depth of the emotional response will tell you a lot about the situation.
Pay attention, because others might be reticent to share feelings. In this instance, one way to connect is to go first.
I remember going through a similar situation in my last job. I was so frustrated and angry because no matter how much we trained people, it didn’t seem to stick. Finally discovered that it wasn’t “what” we were training on, but “how” we were training that caused the problem. Once we stopped telling and started asking, we found a whole new way of doing things that solved the problem.
Be empathetic and communicate understanding. As personal connections form over time, there will be an opportunity to share even stronger and deeper emotions.
Which brings us full circle to business being personal. Keep in mind that emotions drive decisions. Through empathy, sharing and listening, you gain insights into thinking, perspectives, and decisions. Be proactive and share your emotions first. Trust in order to be trusted.